The last church we attended welcomed my oldest son, Cullen, with a lion. Well, kind of—it was someone dressed as a lion. After recovering from the surprise of this giant, smiley mammal’s greeting, Cullen grinned, big. While this lion was no Aslan, and was in fact quite safe, his presence gave my husband and I the impression that this church was certainly thinking about kids, or at least thinking about what would attract kids.

In case you haven’t noticed there are no furry friends awaiting Ivy Creek’s children on Sunday mornings. Perhaps to some that signifies a lack of seriousness about children’s ministry. Add that we have no special, child-centered program during the worship service for our kids age six and older, and some may question our commitment. However, nothing could be farther from the truth.

Having been Ivy Creek’s Director of Children’s Ministry for just seven months, I cannot take credit for the philosophy of ministry here. However, it is in part the seriousness with which they take training children that both attracted our family to the church in the first place and enticed me to apply for this position. I remember, for example, how excited I was the first time it clicked that my son was leaving Sunday School talking about God’s Word rather than the giant mascot, the cool video, or fancy craft (that seemed to have nothing to do with the lesson).

I appreciate that Ivy Creek has made it a priority to give as much spiritual "meat" to our children as possible in the precious time we have with them. Ultimately, we believe Sundays are about worship, teaching, and fellowship, and we extend that belief to our children’s ministry. But while that philosophy seems like a no-brainer, putting it into practice can be hard. As I’ve said on numerous occasions, entertainment, like having someone dress up in a animal costume, is easy compared to shaping faith and character. Why then, if our church wants so much for our children but has so little time with them, have we chosen to have them sit with their parents in the worship service?

First, the fact that we are a covenantal congregation supports our desire to include children in the worship service and have them be trained by their parents with the support of the church body. One thing I appreciate about covenantal theology is its belief that the corporate worship service is just that—"corporate"—and communal. We eagerly welcome the child into the "church family" and invite him to actively participate in the life of the church. Perhaps the most visible reminder of this covenant is the baptism of our Ivy Creek children, when we raise our hands as a congregation signifying we will participate in the nurturing of that child. A natural progression from this theology leads us to include children in the worship service.

Second, as Christian parents we have no higher calling than to train our children to be God-worshipers. We believe it is imperative that our children spend time learning how to worship from and alongside their parents. If we have taught them to read, have good manners, and throw a ball, but have skipped the essential, delegating it completely to someone else, what does that say to our children about the priority of worship and our faith? Yes, it is sometimes inconvenient and frustrating and hard. But it can also be thrilling and astounding and rewarding. Even more important, as we do it, we honor God, love our children, and thumb our noses at our own selfishness.

Being in the worship service benefits our children. Today’s kids spend countless hours engaged in flashy technology and child-focused activities. When they escape to an entertainment-based environment at church, they miss out on experiencing the awe and reverence of our great God. The worship service is and should be different from everything else they encounter on a weekly basis and it cannot be recreated apart from the church family. By including them in the worship service we teach them monumental lessons, especially that worship is not about them (or us)—it’s about God. We immerse them in an environment where God is honored and revered. They are given the opportunity to hear the Word and respond as they are confronted with the Lord’s glory and truth.

Although we will never know how much our children are being shaped by joining their parents in worship, we can be assured that by incorporating them we give them something intangible and formational that can never be taken from them. The prayers, songs, creeds, Scripture, and teaching are sinking into them even on those Sundays when they look as if they couldn’t be less engaged. In her book Reaching Out without Dumbing Down, Marva Dawn cites this encouraging experience of a Christian who was raised sitting with her parents in church:

I did not know at the time that all those experiences were sinking into my bones – that I was learning the language of prayer and hymnody, of doctrine, Scripture and liturgy. But I was. I was slowly but surely being taught the language and worldview of the Christian faith which has nourished me all my life long.[i]
For me, the journey of worshiping with my children has its ups and downs. However, knowing why I’m doing it helps me make our time together in church intentional, purposeful, and (mostly) joyful. When I see clearly I am reminded that nothing I do as a parent is more important than pointing my boys to Christ. Despite the challenge it sometimes is, the worship service is increasingly becoming a place of love, joy, and rest for our family.

Recommended Reading:
Parenting in the Pew by Robbie Castleman (InterVarsity Press, 1993)

[i] Reaching Out Without Dumbing Down, Marva J. Dawn, William B. Eerdmans Publishing Company, Grand Rapids, Michigan, 1995, p. 118.